Why You Should Make The First Move This Valentine's Day

Why You Should Make The First Move This Valentine's Day

You’ve been exchanging shit texts for the past week now. You each take five to ten hours to respond depending on when the last person replied, and, to top it off, conversation hasn’t managed to get past ‘how are you?’ and ‘what have you been up to?’ - except from that one time you surprised yourself after three glasses of wine and sent him a winky face. Let’s face it though, you wanna cut to the chase - you wanna meet up. Unless of course the end goal is solely to gain a texting partner who offers companionship in the form of ‘nothing much, what about you?’. You can’t ask him though, can you? 

Bullshit.

There are many reasons you both can and should ask the guy. Ask yourself, what are your reasons for expecting him to make the first move? In today’s society where women are ‘meant’ to be equal to men, why does he need to hark back to courtship rituals from the 1950’s? Holly Royce from the Metro has one suggestion - ‘We’re told’, she says, ‘that being seen as the dominant person in any relationship is not feminine and therefore not attractive’. Certainly, this is part of it but inevitably, not all of it. The real issue, truly, can be simplified into one small word - we seem to think that the man 'SHOULD' be the one to ask. Yes, should. Not could, not can, ‘should’. 

Ask yourself what this idea is founded on. If it truly is that the male is the dominant one in the relationship and ergo should establish this dominance by making the first move, its time to make steps to eradicate this. The guy is no more dominant than you are. It is no more the guy’s job to ask than it is yours. Someone has to do it though, so why not let it be you?

All my lovely ladies out there, I am speaking to you, we are not in the 1950’s anymore, we do not have to (nor should we have ever been made to) adhere to the social constraints of that time or the ideology that goes alongside it. We are just as good as that guy. Plus why force unequal social pressure on the man either? Let's remember - we are striving for equality. 

Text him first. Not even to chip away at a male dominated/male designed society that fuels a mindset that we are not equal or as powerful in a relationship (although that is a good reason) but because you are both human. Him not texting you doesn’t mean he’s not into you or that he’s not confident because… drum roll... you haven’t text him either. He has equal right to make the same claim about you. 

What's more, if he doesn’t appreciate you texting first then that tells you something far more important than a concern for his lack of texting. In fact, it tells you he’s an idiot. If he GENUINELY sees a woman being confident and responds by being put off then let me save you some time - he's not worth the hassle. You’re worth a lot more than that. In all probability however, he will be relieved. He will appreciate the gesture. I mean, come on, don’t we all remember when Harry Potter had to go through the stress of asking Cho Chang out? Didn’t you wanna help the poor guy out? Well, now’s your chance. (In a very vague and metaphorical way of speaking)

So, the moral of the story? Stop waiting around for the completion of an outdated tradition. If you're bored or frustrated or impatient, you have all the tools to end the cycle. Simply put? If you wanna see the guy, ask him.