Lucas Oakeley

Tim Burton Hates Black Children

Lucas Oakeley
Tim Burton Hates Black Children

Yes, you read that right. Tim Burton hates black children.

You most probably remember Tim Burton as the director of your favourite film when you were 14. Don’t worry, it’s nothing to be ashamed of – we’ve all been there and we’ve all found ourselves at some point within our life relating a worrying amount to one of his movie’s countless well-dressed yet endearingly quirky outcasts. What is something to be ashamed of is the manner in which Burton has aimlessly responded to recent remarks about the criminal white-washing of his latest film ‘Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children’. Stating, ever-so eloquently, that “things either call for things, or they don’t”, Burton claimed that the ethnicity of his characters was he simply did not consider throughout the filming process, and judging by his incredibly white-washed filmography we doubt it’s something he considers very often.

In fact, you’d have to go back as many as 15 years in Tim Burton’s murky Helena Bonham Carter-dominated past to find a single ethnic character with even the slightest role of prominence within one of his films. And it really doesn’t help Burton’s cause that the said role is that of Michael Clarke Duncan playing none other than a gorilla in 2001’s woefully atrocious ‘Planet of the Apes’. Jesus, Tim.

It’s currently 2016 and things aren’t looking much better, with Samuel L. Jackson being the sole ethnic actor in ‘Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children’, where he (you’ve probably guessed it by now) plays the nefarious villain.

Blessed with such watertight arguments as:

“I grew up watching Blaxploitation movies, right? I said, that’s great. I didn’t go like, OK, there should be more white people in these movies.”

It becomes increasingly hard to defend Mr.Burton, especially in light of the recent Oscars furore regarding this contentious race issue, yet many dedicated Burton-ites have still tried to defend the frizzy haired one's claims by arguing that it simply wouldn’t have been realistic for non-white characters to have inhabited the film’s world.

And I mean yes, the film is based in an abandoned orphanage on an island in Wales where it may have been ever so slightly unlikely that there were was a prominent ethnic minority population. But when the island is also inhabited by children that can turn people into stone and are blessed with the ability of pyrokenesis, would a non-white child have really been a step too far in terms of one’s suspension of disbelief?

The answer is ‘no’ and you know it. Tim Burton just hates black children.

Still don’t believe me? Just take a look at one of the film’s promotional posters:

Yikes.